America's fittest couple

Love + Fitness = Happiness

Designer Fitness

 

NOTE:  THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS POST ARE EXCLUSIVELY THOSE OF THE CREATING SUBSTANCE FOUNDER, JON PEARLMAN.  LYUDA DOES ENJOY SOULCYCLE, AND DOES NOT OPPOSE OTHER DESTINATIONS OF DESIGNER-BASED FITNESS.

 

During AFC’s time in the Hamptons, they encountered an interesting (and somewhat disturbing) form of “fitness” -- one that they had never seen before.  After much confusion and late nights up discussing the matter, the Couple came to an agreement on how to appropriately refer to this unique, blossoming industry:  “Designer Fitness.”

 

The Couple enjoying a leisurely stroll on Main Street in East Hampton.  They were having a lovely time before they stopped in at some of the local fitness destinations, which presented a form of workout AFC had never before encountered.

The Couple enjoying a leisurely stroll on Main Street in East Hampton.  They were having a lovely time before they stopped in at some of the local fitness destinations, which presented a form of workout AFC had never before encountered.

 

It’s been well established at the Homestead that an effective workout entails suffering, sweating, panting, drooling, crying, and – sometimes, when the training has been particularly successful – fainting or vomiting.  Yet somehow, all of these prerequisites of physique-building have been removed from the new breed of “gym” that caters to the New York elite.

 

Lyuda appeared out of sorts interacting with the machinations of the local Designer Fitness boutique.

Lyuda appeared out of sorts interacting with the machinations of the local Designer Fitness boutique.

 

Designer fitness can be found in such venues as SoulCycle, The Run, and Peloton.  SoulCycle charges a staggering $40 per class, and models itself more like a nightclub/fashion show than a fitness destination.  The Run has somehow convinced people that it’s respectable to pay upwards of $35 for “professional assistance” (and some twisted form of companionship) in using the good-old hamster wheel.  Peloton sells “carbon fiber” bikes, according to a salesman on Main Street in East Hampton, with wifi-enabled screens that stream live to the Peloton spinning studio in central Manhattan.  Two questions here: (1) Why do you need a carbon fiber bike if the bike isn’t actually moving anywhere; (2) Who wants to pay $2000 for a spinning bike and $40/month to exercise alone, indoors, in a cold, dark basement?

 

 

 

AFC aims to stay abreast on the latest fitness trends, certainly – yet these new companies that aim to turn fitness into an entertainment vehicle have laid siege to the Couple’s innate notions of what fitness means, and why it’s valuable.  The Couple can only hope that those frequenting such destinations will eventually come to their senses and adopt a logical, worthwhile fitness approach.   

 

Designer Fitness doesn't entail perspiring profusely while carrying a fully-loaded tennis bag, and 25-pounds of Whole Foods organics in 100-degree Florida heat.

Designer Fitness doesn't entail perspiring profusely while carrying a fully-loaded tennis bag, and 25-pounds of Whole Foods organics in 100-degree Florida heat.

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